Who I Want to Be

I’m getting my life ready for the new year. I want to make some personality improvements so I took a personality test on the internet. I don't know how accurate it was because there seems to be a human element for which the test didn't allow. I had a hard time answering the questions honestly. I seem to want to answer how I want to be instead of who I really am. This frustrates My Friend Pam to no end. I’m sure she remembers one specific beach trip that we took personality tests together. She kept saying, “No, no, that is not how you are.” My answer was, “Why can't it be? It’s what I want to be.”

Well, I’m sure I did the same thing on this test this time too. It turned out that I’m either ENFJ or ESFJ. I took it twice and changed some answers. Whatever these initials stood for that’s what I either thought I was or wanted to be; until I read the description of these personalities. Then I went back and changed some more answers. In the end I don’t really know what my personality is but I do know what I want it to be.

I want to have the perfect personality. I want to be: loving, optimistic, easy going, patient, kind-hearted, virtuous, loyal, gentle, and self-disciplined. I fear I’m not there yet. I think the initials for that personality is SC (Spirit-controlled.)

Galatians 5:22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

I don’t want to be E, N, F, S, J, I, P, or T, or any other initials. I just want to be SC.

The only real evaluator of this test is the Holy Spirit Himself. And He’s a tough grader and very honest about what I am at any given moment of the day. While it may be impossible to have the perfect personality this side of heaven, at least I have a Teacher that doesn't give up on me. The Holy Spirit convicts in a gentle way (and sometimes in a not so gentle way when I'm being really obnoxious.) But the Holy Spirit always convicts and leads lovingly.

I know who I want to be this New Year.

I know who I need to depend on.

I know I’m going to need some help getting to the place in my personality I want to be.

With God’s forgiveness, grace, and mercy I’ll get a little closer to my personality goal.

I may even get to change some of the personality test answers legitimately.

My Friend Pam will be so delighted.